The first thing that comes to mind when anyone hears “medieval” is knights, kings, queens, and peasants. Poor living, poor manners, poor hygiene, and the list goes on. We get so much of our opinions from most movies, that it’s hard to believe otherwise. However, author Daniele Cybulskie is here to open readers’ eyes to the truth. What is the truth? Well, the truth is – medieval times weren’t as uncouth or barbaric as the movies would have us to believe.
At first glance at this book’s cover, you absolutely are going to get that medieval vibe the author is going for. You see the various individuals on the cover in various “tiers” and each represents their position in life relatively speaking. From the nobles to the courtiers, the lower cast lived their lives as best they could. In the first few pages of this book, the author takes steps to quickly engage those interested in learning more about this specific era in time. To read that there are literally hundreds of books from the Middle Ages focusing on good manners and such is sure to blow your mind.
As you progress into the novel, the author helps readers to better understand exactly where the focus is going to be. Author Cybulskie is opting to focus on Western Europe since that is typically where most minds tend to go when thinking of Medieval times or the Middle Ages and you will find yourself engaged in the information being put out. How someone could rise in station through certain acts or even a through education. Of course, we all know that some were able to rise from a lower class to a higher one through marriage.
Some of the information contained within this book is already well-known. One in particular is that women were considered lower than men in almost every respect. As well as the dynamics between religions depending on where you might find yourself located. Also, the assertion that, especially back then, having fair skin and blonde hair made you more desirable.
The author has taken care to include several artifact images throughout this book and to tie them expertly into their places in history. From an image of the “Wheel of Fortune” (no, not the t.v. show LOL), to hand washing bowls, to tablecloths and napkins, even spoons! So many things that we take for granted today were important elements to good manners back in the Middle Ages!
The importance of manners, proper conduct, and how foods should be handled is truly interesting. We get to see where some of today’s manners and behaviors concerning certain aspects of eating comes from. Knowing that cutlery wasn’t as widely used during that time period is sure to see eyebrows creeping up towards hairlines, lol. Just even knowing that spoons were usually given as gifts because they weren’t that common is mind-blowing.
Reading that “beauty was seen as an outward sign of inner virtue” many readers will think “well, that’s nothing new.” The more beautiful you were perceived the more virtuous you must have been, thereby more desirable to have. However! Reading that even priests were meant to be handsome?! Cue record scratch, and mind being blown. See, even the movies got that wrong! LOL! What happened guys?! In movies, we typically get the cringe-worthy or rather portly priests while there might be one or two who could tempt a woman, but not often. LOL!
The author works to fascinate the reader with breakdowns of each chapter. While each chapter has their specific subjects the author breaks the subjects themselves down into palatable pieces. You’re getting a lot of information, but you’re getting them in easy-to-digest bites. One example would be The How to Woo chapter. The author touches on appearance in general, how to dress, to expressing oneself i.e. body language, to the very words that you use to express yourself.
It’s rather humorous to read how women were looked down upon in the Middle Ages. It was quite literally “Be quiet (don’t talk too much) and be beautiful and you’re sure to get a husband.” The author points out these particular points concerning women in the chapters as they proceed through the book. While it was possible for women to become more than just a wife in the Middle Ages it surely was not something easily accomplished by any means. Of course, as the book delves deeper it becomes also apparent that a wife has a mountain of expectations placed upon her. The same then as it is now, it’s viewed that “it’s not really a mountain but the “obligations rightly belonging to you (the wife).””
When you get to the aspect of marriage in the Middle Ages, well, you get some idea as to how much it has changed since then. We’re sure you’ll agree that things must have been chaos back then. Imagine getting married by accident!! Talk about a nightmare! Yet, reading how easy it was to “get married” back in the Middle Ages, it must have been a real headache for families. LOL! At least today, you have plenty of time (usually) to back out if you decide to.
As Chivalry and Courtesy shifts to the family aspect of this book, it’s fascinating to learn about the lives of children especially. So often we have been lead to believe that children, as soon as they were of an age, were sent to work to help the family. It’s interesting to learn that they were actually allowed as much of a childhood as possible before they reached a certain age where their lives would begin to truly take shape and a particular path be chosen for them. Essentially between the ages of seven and ten is when most children’s lives would begin to change and they be put on the path that their families had chosen for them.
The chapter that touches on the running of the household is fascinating in its own respect. You get to read the expectations of the women now as wives. Running a household, especially a large one, was never a small thing. The wife had to keep the servants in check, be fertile and have children, raise the children, and make sure that the home was in working order to be prepared for whatever was coming with the correct time of year. Of course, the men had their responsibilities, but when a husband sits down and writes over a hundred pages (literally a book) on what his wife’s tasks should be…it’s easy to say not much has changed. LOL!
The detail of this book in showcasing the similarities and differences between the modern day and the Middle Ages is both obvious and not. It’s interesting to see how things have changed compared to how things were, and how things have not changed in some respects. This book is more than just “chivalry and courtesy.” While that may be the primary focus and intent of this book, the author brings a wealth of information to enlighten readers concerning many aspects of Medieval times.
Some of the information detailed in this book is common knowledge, but there is quite a lot to be found that will educate readers and enlighten them as well. But one thing can be derived from this book – there is much to be appreciated that we learned from the Medieval times. While things weren’t perfect, we sure have come a long way and learned how to take the good and the bad from history.
For readers who enjoy delving deep into history, or want to learn more about how the Middle Ages compares to today Chivalry and Courtesy by Daniele Cybulskie is a must-read. Packed with information and photographs of items or elements that relate to the time are sprinkled throughout it. Each chapter is well-detailed and is sure to keep you engaged as you learn something new.
Pros:
- Engaging narrative
- Informative content
- Well thought-out comparisons
- Good reading structure overall
- Easy to understand and read
Cons:
- None
Scribble's Worth 
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