After almost 2 years of knowing it existed, and wanting to review it daily, we finally got the opportunity to do so, with Giovanni Diaz’s book: Daryl P. Jenkins Accidentally Blows Up New York City.
Dreams do come true, after all. Is it good? YES! Is it better than we have imagined? Oh, you bet. Should you buy it? Oh yes. This deserves to be had in hardcover!
Am I being biased? I’ll admit: maybe. So, let me back up for a little and give you some food for thought: personally, I’m a guy that has a great sense of humour, and can see jokes in the silliest things, BUT, I’m hard to make laugh when it comes to jokes. It’s even harder to do so when I’m reading a book in professional reviewer mode while trying to analyse the pros and cons of the book, but Giovanni Diaz was able to make me laugh from the table of content onwards! I’m talking about bend-over trying to catch my breath type of laughter, so take my word for it that this book is hilarious! If you need proof, download a sample from Smashwords. (Btw, the book will be free till the end of July, so click this link to get yours)
So, from the cover and table of contents, and blurb, we get the idea that we are going to have two well-intentioned dorks that are trying to solve something, aliens with marital issues (*laughs*), and explosions. What else can go wrong, right? I mean, the narrator starts to off by explaining why the MC isn’t at fault and that we, readers also took part of the action, although we might not remember, HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA, oh god this book is something else. Absurd and I love it, hahahahhahahha.
Ok. There are three things that you will notice on Gio’s narrative. The first is that it’s real and relatable. You will read this book, and feel as if someone is talking to you, because it’s really that conversational in nature.
The second thing is that it flows between light and dark moods. It’s like you read something that can be possibly fucked up (as in sad/depressing), and then the narrator, or the plot (or the title of the chapter) will make you laugh, or make it so absurd that you will completely forget about it for that moment and make you carry on. The third thing is how Gio allows you to imagine the plot and scenery in your head. It’s vivid!
One thing that books do is educating, and I always tell people that Gio is a gem
(follow him on his twitter, you won’t regret it) , and now I have the proof through his books. There are passages in here that will make you stop and think, and see things that you cannot ignore, given that the narrator is that person, that person that probably, you have ignored as you go on your way. No spoilers, you know the rules, 😀 . Gio reminds you through words and scenes and meanings about human decency and about caring in a way that will make you laugh, and maybe cry. Exemplary.
Although the book is light, and flurry, and absurdity and stupidity and possibility, it also has a contrast to all the goodies, and that contrast is PTSD. It’s super dark and you can feel it when it comes, but the thing is that, it’s needed. It’s like the coffee smell against a very strong perfume, in this case, the sobering up and attention grab against the laughter, the air in your lungs after laughing so hard for so long, and you know what? It makes the book perfect, grab your copy.
I have never in my life read a book that could make me laugh every other paragraph so light-heartedly. There are high levels of absurdity, believe me, hahahhaha, yet Giovanni Diaz is able to manage when and where to put absurdity, and where to put jokes that are surprising but manageable, and he knows when to stop and push the story either on a serious way, or gloomy way for a while. I mean, is not everyday that you have an alien couple that are the impossible personality match and yet are together for, well, you’ll see. I don’t know where did Gio got these ideas, but damn! Hahaahhahahahahahah, like, read this:
“Brandon Abtin looked like he should’ve been leading some fairytale army out of the deserts of Persia, saving damsels and righting wrongs across creation. He had the type of face that made you angry at yourself, because, clearly, you’re failing at something for not looking like him.”
It’s fascinating how Giovanni Diaz uses aliens and bums to talk about humanity and the humane condition, yes, the humane condition, that is being lost, and how we should treat each other in virtue of how irrational, primitive, and fragile we are, because we all are still, humans, and that makes you think long and hard. But don’t worry about the book becoming preachy, nor boring because insanity and absurdity will resume pretty quickly so you will forget about it for a long while, hahahahhahah. This book is CHAOS! HAHhahahahhahah
“”Is that fucking Dennis!?” Lily said, screaming from atop the flailing giant of the deformed Brandon-monster, as the actual Brandon sailed around her in that giant breath mint, pelting her with refreshing bullets.”
Now, take a deep breath, and try to imagine, being arrested in space, and threatened to be killed by other alien species, because of you have no idea of the powers and capabilities of…. a calculator. Yes. A calculator. No, I’m not joking. Imagine this for a second. Yeah… And to add to that, you have got a lizard that is bent on eternal revenge to the human species, just after 2 mins of misunderstandings, and I mean sworn to destroy it and die trying if it comes to that. Oh my god this book is amazing.
Warning: Ok, this might be too late on the review, but bleep it – Do not, I repeat, DO NOT try to make sense of this book or try to understand it. Just roll with the dark matter and enjoy it. You will thank me.
As you might have guessed, this book is silly to the point of joy tears, and laughter is all over it, yet, Giovanni Diaz will give you, in this very book, the perfect explanation to why nobody can actually see the most mysterious and hunted creature on the planet, and universe. Big Foot. YEAP! You read that right, Big Foot. I will make sense, trust me. Oh, and the Loch Ness monster… well… you’ll see. LOL
Do not think that this book won’t surprise you after you’ve read more than half of it, and do not underestimate the ability of Giovanni Diaz to throw absurd and impossibly stupid and hilarious scenarios at you when you think things are getting serious. You WILL laugh your pants off! You have been warned. HAHHAHAHAHAH
“I spun and curved, spun and curved, until I was pushed into a straightaway and rocketed towards a puckered butthole where a cloud of turds were cheering me on like a crowd at the end of a marathon, some waving banners cheering me on and telling me I was the best.”
This book is insanity on meth! You cannot not read, nor unread this book. HAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAH, I will just end this review with this section of the book: (I laughed for 2 mins straight before writing this so prepare yourself):
“ Chaos reigned throughout the boroughs (and Staten Island) as Brandon and Lily continued their onslaught against each other. Skyscrapers were hurled, streets were lifted up by the corners and used like whips, and at some point a team of rabid giraffes had been employed in the disagreement. You could actually hear Brandon and Lily, even through the television feed:
“…I never said you were ‘freakishly’ tall…”
Crash…
“…if you paid half as much attention to me as you do to that stupid mirror of yours…”
Explosion…
“…rugs??? I didn’t even know we owned a rug!”
Whatever sound a bunch of rabid giraffes make…
On and on like that.
Cable news was calling it an “alien invasion, judgment day, a socialist uprising…” etc, depending on which idiot you trusted. ”
Pros:
- HILARIOUS! 300 pages of utter absurdity. This is the funniest book you’ll read this decade!
- Excellent narrative and flow of story
- VIVID scenes
- Unpredictable plot
- Deranged mythical creatures and guitar solos (trust me)
- Important life lessons
- Halal carts
- A calculator
- Raised awareness for war veterans and homeless people. Seriously.
Cons:
Dennis. HAHAHAHHAA. You will get the joke. HAHAHAHAHAHHA
Scribble's Worth 
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