Have you ever wondered how your sister has influenced your life? Do you ever stop to think – how do they actually influence your life? I mean, besides annoying the ever-living daylights out of you? Whether it be “borrowing” your favorite clothing or simply wanting to tag along, the author has compiled information to reflect on this crucial relationship. She looks at how the sisters’ relationship, no matter what age, has impacted and shaped their lives.
My Sister, My Self: The Surprising Ways that Being an Older, Middle, Younger, or Twin Shaped Your Life by Vikki Stark is a non-fiction novel that brings to light the various aspects of a sister’s relationship. This book is both entertaining and eye-opening.
Chapter by chapter, the author expresses in vivid detail how sisterhood has impacted various women throughout the years. From the new baby coming home to being a full-grown woman and everything in between.
One aspect that shines brightly in this book is the age-related dynamics. Your initial thought may be that the sisters who contributed would be older. You know, adult women who are able to “accurately” reflect and give information concerning their relationships from childhood.
But that’s not the case at all. You’ll be pleasantly surprised when you read that Stark interviewed a spectrum of ages. I laughed at learning that even a four year old contributed, and you may too. The child’s concise demeanor in describing her relationship with her sisters was adorable, and my jaw dropped to learn ninety-five-year-old twin sisters had contributed. Talk about awesome stuff! Right?!
Most introductions tend to be short and to the point. They give you a nice image of what to expect in the book. While the intro is a tad lengthy, it is packed to the brim with information, and you’ll get a nice glimpse of what to expect from this book. Stark goes into detail to really pique your interest and creates a world you’ll enjoy and appreciate. She engages readers as much as possible by encouraging them to reflect and answer questions.
Everything is covered in this book—from how one’s scathing words can impact your future choices to how the sister relationship saved their life. The varying dynamics accurately showcase just how similar sisters are across the ages, and you’ll have fun seeing similarities in the relationships you’ve had with your sisters.
Stark goes deeply into the various roles sisters are either assigned or assume throughout their lives. Whether it’s the older sister taking on the “motherly” role, the middle sister being viewed as “rebellious” or “troublesome” (i.e. the “rebel”), or the youngest defined as “the baby.”
Some of the stories shared by the sisters in this book will have you laughing. There are some stories that will literally have your jaw on the floor. I mean, imagine being a small child at camp and at the top of a diving tower. You’re frozen with fear, but the rules at the camp say you can’t climb down. You have to either dive or jump. You’re not having fun. It’s terrifying.
But you already know if you have sisters, not everything is fun and games or ends with a smile.
As you read this book, you’ll find yourself engaged by the author’s insightfulness. The author utilizes her therapist skills to accurately detail and identify various aspects throughout this book. So often, sisters are categorized by their parents, especially at the introduction of a new child. It is so interesting to read how some handle a new family addition. Some handle it really well, while others are classified as “jealous.” There are so many names to identify each stage of sisterhood – from the oldest to the youngest.
Throughout this book, you will see Stark’s dedication to this topic. She dives deep into each aspect of sisterhood, beginning with the oldest and how standards are set for them, and moving onto the youngest, and how they are often babied. Some sisters came to resent their older sibling, but at the end of the day, they appreciated them. Finally, she moves to the middle sister and shows how the dynamics of sisters on either side mold and shape who she becomes as she grows and develops.
Wondering where the twins are in all of this? Well, don’t worry, because they aren’t left out. Stark discusses them last. Some might even say she “saved the best for last.” That’s probably especially felt by the twins reading this. LOL!
Each chapter is packed with information covering sisterhood from oldest to youngest. No matter where you fall in this order, sisterhood showcases some truly strong bonds that last a lifetime for most. There will forever be ups and downs. That much is a fact. But it remains true that there is something for every sister to relate to in this book. Even I, having a much older sister, was able to find some connections, and I enjoyed reading this book.
Pros:
- The amount of detail really pulls you in.
- The variety of stories/vignettes that showcase each sister’s personal experiences with her siblings.
- The author’s analysis using her “family therapist” hat is easy to understand.
- The author takes time to share some of her own experiences as well.
Cons:
- The chapters feel a little long-winded. They attempt to cover too many aspects of each sister type (older, middle, younger). Some information felt unnecessary.
Scribble's Worth 
Leave a comment