When you hear the word “memoir” you don’t think “hilarious”. However, that is exactly what you get with this book. The chapters fly past you before you know it, but each one holds something truly memorable. From the mother sharing pieces of her past to comparing herself to a famous actress from back in the day.

Makeup Tips from Auschwitz: How Vanity Saved my Mother’s Life is a memoir by Tommy Schnurmacher that details moments from his life growing up, and gives us readers some insights into what his mother herself experienced during her time at Auschwitz. While keeping this book light and humorous, the author shares with us his experiences leaving you feeling closer to him and his family by the end of the book.

Right from the beginning, the author smacks you with humor. An “unfortunate” but hilarious incident with his therapist starts this book. Trust me, even you’ll be thinking “Is she related to them?” too when you read the therapist’s name. The resounding fall-out is absolutely hilarious.

It was a moment that could have possibly been avoided, but would the fun be in that? Needless to say, the therapist more than gets her money’s worth when it comes to his sessions.

There is one particular scene that nearly had me reaching through the pages. When he says one particular individual was “scratching one Christian Louboutin Bianca Botta boot with the other” I nearly fainted dead away. The horror! Did she scratch/scuff the boots doing that?! Who does such a thing?? Those things are insanely expensive! LOL!

The author says that he got the “inspiration” to write a memoir after reading the dirty parts in Leonard Cohen’s book. Really now? What dirty parts? But let’s keep going with this book for now, shall we?

Throughout this book, you are going to encounter humor packed – lines like “I was afraid of what the relatives we never talked to would think.” You’re literally going to scoff at that because we all know how we feel about THOSE relatives. We may not speak to them, but the minute something salacious comes up there they are ready to partake in the gossip.

Descriptions like – the house of the therapist as having a “low hanging sloping roof that indicated that the house was, clearly and profoundly, ashamed of itself” Eloquently fits this book and creates such vivid images in your head. You can almost believe that maybe, just maybe, the house actually had some self-loathing about itself because of its owner. It’s fun to imagine right?

The variety of individuals he interacts with really keeps you on your toes. You get the good friend Paris panicking about a phone call from a telemarketer. I promise you, you’re going to laugh at how she handles that. Then there’s the sister who tells him literally to eat seven (yes, you read that right – SEVEN) bowls of a particular cuisine. To “cure” an ailment? That can’t be right…right? LOL! . Later on, in the story, you’ll learn a bit more about the sister. Yet, you’ll appreciate how the author can see the humor in this particular situation.

One of your favorite chapters in this book is going to be about the author’s pet dog(s). You’re going to be tilting your head thinking “there is no way” only to find yourself laughing your butt off. The descriptions used to paint the pictures of the scenes with the pup(s) will have you rolling as the mother adds a nice flair to it all.

Another aspect of this story that you are truly going to enjoy is the stories that the author relates concerning his mother. Brace yourself for a range of emotions to hit you all at once. But I know that you’ll agree with me on this – that woman was seriously clever. She used her skills to the hilt to do what she needed to do for her family.

One word in particular that you’re going to find yourself uttering as you read this book is “wow.” You’re honestly going to say that A LOT. Whether it be a particular situation the author regales you with a story, or a story about his mother – you’re going to be saying “wow.” The familial bond is truly strong in this family and it shines through at every moment. When the mother believes that some form of “wrong” has been committed against her child, she has no qualms handling it herself. Whether you know that she’s done it out and out, or she uses a touch of “subterfuge”, she handles it. The only thing you’re going to do is sit back and applaud her for her ingenuity. It also explains a lot as to where her son gets his moxie.

This book isn’t all laughs and giggles though. While that is the majority of it, Tommy Schnurmacher shares some shocking moments and then ones that will wound your heart with tragedy. He shares the experiences that these various situations brought to him. The strength of his family throughout these tragedies though is tremendous as they forge ahead. In some cases, they never lose that spark that makes them who they are.

There isn’t a straight line in this book. You don’t start at the beginning and get the childhood and then move forward into adulthood. The author jumps around taking you from childhood memories to adulthood, and back again. It keeps you on your toes and fully engaged. There might be some moments when you are looking for something to tie the story to the title, but be patient. It’s coming.

The author has led an interesting life. From being an immigrant himself due to a chaotic time in his past, to meet a TON of celebrities. Your jaw is going to be on the floor at his resourcefulness and at times just sheer luck at the encounters he will regale you with throughout this book. I could hardly believe some of the names that I read. You’re going to be right there with me thinking “Wow! He was so lucky!”

When you reach the final page of this book you’ll feel a sense of distant connection. To have shared these moments with you, the author has opened up his life to you. You’ll wish with all of your heart that you could have met his mother. She sounds like she was truly an exceptional woman.

Pros:

• The humor is absolutely spot on. You’ll be laughing yourself silly with this book.
• The descriptions will really engage your mind and paint vivid pictures immersing you in the story.
• You get just the right amount of background in the right places to fill out the story.
• You get to see just how much the author cared for/loved his mother.

Cons:

• None

Lesson of the book: Life is a many-faceted journey, but a dash of humor can make it all just a little bit easier.

Cover score: 8.8

Book score: 8.7

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